Written by Philip Ridley

Directed by Abbye Eve

Tickets: £15.00 (Con. available)

When the programme arrives with a party bag, audiences know they’re in for an experience. 

But no matter what avenue one may expect Philip Ridley’s The Fastest Clock in the Universe to wander down – they’re likely wrong. What initially seems to be a toxically churned production on ageing and masculinity picks and chooses what it wants from a groaning table of life, ladened with party favours, goodies, and plenty of nasty surprises. Still, a humorous show, and a fine one at that, The Edinburgh Graduates Theatre Group take humour by the hand through the party this evening before it runs free, leaving small explosives as they tread. 

An evolving two-hander, finishing with an ensemble cast of five, Ridley’s script revolves around Cougar’s 19th birthday. An annual affair, Cougar’s genuine age is buried deeply under hair dye and a topped-up tan. Set-up for the party follows the same routine it has now for – well – a few years with fake cards, cakes, a bottle of vodka, and even a cake. The only thing we’re left waiting for is Cougar’s guest. His ‘gift’.

Caden Scott’s take on the performance couldn’t be more of a contemporary man-child if they tried: aggressive, bullish, petulant, but knows precisely when to remain quiet and scheme in a genuinely unnerving performance which achieves so much in micro-movements and glances. They’re a fine match for Dario Dalla Costa as Captain Tock, seemingly Cougar’s older provider, lover, keeper, and occasional Lackie, facilitating much of the plot and Cougar’s nefarious deeds that stretch far beyond what audiences initially suspect him capable of. A powerfully layered performance: one encompassing the much-needed elements of the production to balance the vileness which Scott exudes as Cougar. Dalla Costa also has a chunk of Ridley’s monologuing and expositional lifting, doing so with tremendous talent that it feels entirely authentic, their toxic relationship wholly, and tragically, believable.

The Grey-Goose vodka and Kellogg’s’ infamous Rooster all find a threaded place within Richard Spiers’ effective sparse fowl design. Much is left to the audience in The Grads’ purposefully uneasy production. With the occasional flutter of the birds outside, Dug Campbell’s sound design a key strength at play, and the even more effective light from J Gordon Hughes all whisk together in capturing that limbo nature the production achieves so well. 

At either end of the clock’s ticking are the reflections of Cougar’s worst nightmare and endless chase: the much elderly neighbour Cheetah Bee, and Al Inne’s exceptional role as fifteen-year-old Foxtrot Darling. Diametric roles, Esther Gilvray’s poetic control of Ridley’s morbid wordings of ageing and death hits hard, while Inne’s misled Foxtrot is in utter adoration at the ‘cooler’ older Cougar, blissfully unaware of being led astray, the loss of their brother solidifying this misplaced faith in the predator. Both have total control of their roles, though Inne’s written with a grounding, Gilvray, meanwhile, is tasked with the production’s closing moments and metaphorical elements. 

A near-whiplash-inducing performance from Amy Dallas turns what could easily have been a distracting role into one of the production’s crucial elements with Sherbet, Foxtrot’s older (deceased) brother’s girlfriend. The jittering energy adds even more unhinged energy, this time with an overblown explosion of hairclips and party favours. Performed with diction and clarity that keep focus, Dallas is captivating in all of this production’s morosely wrong ways, their  ‘kill them with kindness’ performance being the final dollop of icing on this vicious cake of a show. 

The audience is encouraged and backed into utilising their imaginations for grotesque moments of violence and internalised aggression. But the oddity is that for a production which has savoured every mouthful between bouts of humour and agony, where it comes to matter most in the finale, there’s a jolt to the finish line in an unexpected quickening pace which downplays the more harrowing elements of the story. It’s an otherwise unblemished run for Eve’s direction, which capitalises on the elements they can control the hand in characterisation and the levels of autonomy and ‘choice’ certain characters have with their actions and consequences. 

Bringing an element of disturbance to comfortable viewers the content warnings have a required place with some of what The Fastest Clock in the Universe unearths. To describe it as a simple or easy watch would be false as Ridley’s script is more of a survival experience, and The Grads relish the opportunity to ensure they stay well away from the grown-up look with excellent performances all around, with the brass nerve to carry it all off. 

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